Exploring my relationship with the word ‘talkative’. In my opinion, the reason why talkative kinds of people are worshiped is because you get the most information out of them when they talk, which is relevant in the context of marketing, consumerism, capitalism. Although quiet people are accepted in my part of society, they are not appreciated and the quietness of me tend to become justification for further criticism, all implying that I must apparently change to be talkative like the rest of society.
Why do I stick to my guns and want to remain silent at times? First point that jumps out at me is because when facing yourself, it’s best to remain silent about that point you are facing until I get the point of change and why I must change and why it is already decided if I want to be what is best for all. Bernard Poolman said to remain silent about a point (about yourself) and share when you have walked through that point.
Why do I remain silent where many would communicate and voice their opinion? I am usually uncertain (but I shouldn’t be) whether what I want to say is just another opinion or is what is best for all, so instead of taking action and squacking an opinion or how I feel in that moment, I rather heed the previous guideline and remain silent.
Speaking of which, I don’t want to rock other people’s boats. It makes the status of each relationship I have with others unstable and unpredictable. I’m afraid of doing that, and heeding Self-first I actually love to rock my own boat/mind and find solutions that are best for all.
Stubborn is another part of my character that influence my choice to be more silent than talkative. I want to supercharge my walking of process so I have the pattern of letting reactions compound in me instead of letting them out through petty actions of anger and irritation. Nature has never once told me how it operates and functions yet the more I remain here as breath, the more nature teaches me how to most effectively walk process. So part of my conviction is that nature is right, so I follow the example of nature as closely as I can and solder that silent nature into my hardware/flesh as hard as I can.
So now that I have understood why I prefer silence, now why do I resist being talkative/communicating often?
I’m afraid of other people’s reactions if I “just say what’s on my mind”. What’s on my mind and just saying it is honesty and the point is self honesty. Being honest that you’re irritated is self dishonest because I am irritated because of an illusion fabricated by beliefs, judgments, comparisons, imagination, so the self honest action is to remain silent about the irritation and instead work through the irritation first, or at least get the emotions out of the way, THEN communicate about… That’s my point: if everyone were self honest, got their reactions out of the way, then a lot less chatter would exist. I remain silent in the faith that others have an equal and one ability to sort out their own bullshit, others remain silent to sort out their own bullshit, what is there to communicate?
There is. You can talk to challenge other’s ego if they are willing and able to look past their own ego and get to a version of themselves that is best for all. You can talk to uplift and support others in their process by sharing points that you have already walked through and why it is in everyone’s interest to do what is best for all. You talk to coordinate physical reality work-related situations.
I’m afraid of making the specific mistake of being honest rather than being self honest. I’m tired and irritated by the extensive abuse that people enact around me when I am honest. That doesn’t mean to be dishonest, it means to bring the point back to Self and work it through before speaking about it again. In the meantime like a leaf shedding a raindrop be polite and only talk about the physical reality considerations. Like a kung fu master dissipate and absorb the energy of the kick.
In my life, when most interactions are action-reaction mind material-for-the-teacher-to-work-on, I have few moments when I’m talking about something real. I have to make a decision now, silent or talker. At this stage in my process I decide to remain silent for the reasons that most, if not all abuse comes from me talking and babbling. Capitalism and consumerism and beauty abominations are fuelled through people talking about it, writing about it, writing songs about it. All talk and no self reflective talk.