(The rest is private information that will compromise my relationship with everyone around me so is kept private. The two statements investigated are:
- Relationships can be very simple
- When someone accepts your apology, you should let it go.)
This was my friend’s advice. In the spirit of investigate all things and keep what is best, best for all, I will investigate these two statements. The first statement is that people to people relationships can be very simple. Can be. I see that in deeds, and words, able to be done and spoken = it is very simple. You stand in your position and you take responsibility for that position. What does that mean? Means dare not take the lead and step out from the label you are labelling yourself as when you decide to work at a company. Part time sales. It means do not meddle in other people’s affairs and sort yourself out first, your own mind stuff first = Self first. And as a physical shit bag talking to another shit bag (I joke!) there is really nothing you can do about other people’s words and deeds. They are like dictated to you. But who you are when those words ‘arrive’ and deeds done, you dictate to yourself.
So what is best for all in this statement of simplicity: relationships can be very simple? They are, if only considering what one can physically and practically do for another as a physical human being. What complicates things. The mind. My mind. My ego. And because both are co-existing the physical and mental, and the mental seeps into the physical, I care to disagree that relationships are that simple. I require a certain level of finesse in considering other people’s bad thoughts, making a decision, and either challenging them because I would challenge myself to look at the common sense what is best for all or because I have already challenged myself and understand the common sense and what is best for all, or not challenging them and regrouping myself and my inner resources, meaning being here ready and poised for the revenge of the ego when my ego is challenged I stand as Life.
I require FACING my ego first, and I will assume that everything EVERYTHING I observe of others I am there, means I am what I observe of others. Obvious common sense. I require giving to others what I would like to receive. And I require a patience with the strange characters coming out of the woodwork while I face and share my ego self investigation. So with considerations like the four I listed, relationships aren’t that simple.
So summary is that relationships aren’t simple because of the sins of the fathers. But they are physically simple. PHYSICALLY.
Next statement to investigate is the advice that when someone replies to your apology, you should let it go. I agree in that one should always give benefit of the doubt to the other and see them for the potential that they can become. If there is any evidence physically that is saying otherwise, remember: you have a responsibility to your own mind, and thus they have their responsibility to take, that you cannot do for them. So let what go? Let my expectations for the relationship go, and let others walk by themselves as they must, because I see and realize that I must walk my ego process also alone. I can only prove me to myself, and no one else can do it for me. So the same is for others. What should I not let go of then?
The tenacity and zealous nature to investigate all things and keep what is best. The tenacity to challenge other’s egos when I see they are doing bullshit that I’ve done before. Why the second point: because you also had a responsiblity to the other for letting them grow up the way they did, in your silence or often, deliberate manipulation of people like them. I should not let go of the understanding that to really stand up from my ego, I of necessity need to stand up to other’s egos. Otherwise all will be for naught and I am not really standing up as Life.
So summary: letting go does not mean letting everything go, it means letting go of my ego as expectations and my experience of the relationship. And not letting go of my own principles, what is best for all, do not let go of what is best for all.