I am at a loss as to what to walk in my process. Yes I have a mind that I need to understand and direct, but aren’t there more pressing matters at hand like half the world starving? But then again, I’m writing to those that have a say in the world, so I better shut up about that fact. My perspective on this process in the smaller as myself, hoping to reach more people, is in seeing myself as a demon. As a demon, I am a system of knowledge and information, and am trapped in cycles of revenge and fighting because I am apparently not good enough. I’m looking towards the mental suffering of many that may be reading this. What needs to be understood by the demon through forgiveness? Exactly how I accepted and allowed – the words are specific – myself to become victim to the ‘me’ experience. This religion of Self. Where the preacher has evolved from an actual human being talking to your mind talking to you, telling you how to decide, how to choose. What is not considered in this free choice is the factor of spitefulness and how experience is specifically placed into your world to influence your ‘free choice’. Make no mistake about it – your free choice ain’t free, it is creating consequences daily, it’s dictating to you what you like and dislike, not realizing that to like everything equally can be a choice as well. This love, this metaphysical form of a drug, kind of ends up being your payment of sorts to do things you, if you were aware of the fact that we live in a physical reality, to do things you normally would not do. Like harm and deceive your neighbour. Like leaving them to their demise.
Make no mistake, I was one that was left to my own demise. And let me tell you, energy has a cost, producing this love in your mind have a cost. It can be understood as your life = time. This shit – sorry – is so time consuming that produces nothing no skills of any value to any human being. And make no mistake – love is allowed in its current form because it makes profit. Who loses, you lose your time and money, they the adults that urge you to grow up, they profit off this. In mild cases, only money, in many cases they get a kick consciously, subconsciously, and unconsciously out of it. It is really a story for no ages. So my blog specifically is made to be a place where common sense can be discussed and shared. Obviously most of the sharing I do.
Anyway, what the fuck should I be doing? I’m sticking around in my world just to see what unfolds, and whether I will be able to stand in face of real shit. Real shit meaning the point of gossip, the point of secrets, the point of control. And I admit, it’s fun. But what should I do? I’ll keep writing this blog. I am sold on self forgiveness and self honesty to correct love within me. I still need to plan and plot how I will make real money. Thanks for reading.