Yesterday I met a girl on the MTR and she was trying to seduce me. I keep seeing this as a ‘positive’ thing, like this temptation is ‘positive’, but in knowledge I know this is a negative phenomenon. I created people to base their self worth on people liking them, isntead of uplifting and supporting them to stand as self worth, and this I have not done even for myself yet. I would like to ‘see beyond the veil’ of positive temptation and realize the gore so I may never abuse girls like these again.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that females that are trying to seduce me are the ‘most beautiful’ and ‘positive’ feeling things on Earth.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider such females as myself, where I would have asked myself the question, what did I have to do in my mind to basically throw myself onto another and emotionally invested in this reaction where I become possessed by desire which is fear, such as fear of not being liked.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that females are like candy, and that only eating candy will rot my stomach and body as what is real in the world, leaving my world in a mess of energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I have a choice in whether I partake in the energy offered by the female presentation, instead of realizing that energy is abuse, and to believe I have a choice to abuse is abuse.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to haste in breaking the veil that is female presentation, to see what is really here as the symbols that females portray with their existence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a statement of blame towards attractive females, believing they are the source when I am the source, because females look at other females differently and I am the one reacting to such females so I am the source, I cannot blame.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to instead of blame, breathe in such female’s presence and discover what self intimacy means when facing mind positive stuff, because I am rather well versed in mind negative stuff but at a loss when faced with mind positive stuff.