Day 521: Processing Conflict

Processing conflict. In the past I would contain the emotions until I burst. But what is a healthy way of processing conflict?

Sparks flew on Facebook as I commented on a few people’s statuses. I was challenged, unintelligible short statements were made. Especially on the Internet, people in general take all the responsibility of stating things but no responsibility to explain themselves. Given the case, I have no choice but to categorize such statements about me as hate speech. Designed only to do one thing, which is to make a person, i.e. me, react and live my life more difficultly. It is too apparent that we have a massive problem in which the scale of this problem cannot be fathomed, yet take a miniscule sample as one human being and the problem is apparent. I will not underestimate the effect a few words on the Internet may have on my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to X’s words just because he/she is ‘another person’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that another person’s real words written imply a standard of integrity and objectivity, instead of realizing that people are equally susceptible to stating opinions as I am, and thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take other people’s words with a grain of salt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to comment on a person’s status because I felt like it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider the responsibility of commenting on another person’s status, as the responsibility of explaining my position, and the responsibility that I must accept any response to my comments as a manifested fact, insofar that a real person chose to write in the way they did, and I am responsible for inciting such responses from other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to relieve myself of boredom by/through commenting on other people’s statuses.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to admit to myself that I was bored in that moment, and that I did not remind myself of the goals I set for myself and what I can do to achieve those goals and thereby, do those things that will help me achieve my goals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that when a person states something, and I ask for explanation, and there is no reply, that that person apparently wins because he/she has “done the damage” already.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to label the effect other people’s words have on me as “their fault”, when I am actually facing my own self judgment reflected by other people’s words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as useless and unused out of the excuse that I am still dependent financially on my mother to support my journey to Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I can have no say in what other people say, because I am apparently not equal to them because they are earning money and I am basically not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to how much money I earn per month.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that my words will have more weight when I have more money, instead of realizing the common sense that my words will have weight when they are aligned in some common sense.

When and as I see myself victimize myself to other people’s comments, I stop, I Breathe. I realize that I am responsible for the effect that other people’s words have on me, implying that I created this life experience, and therefore I must stop, not them. I commit myself to stop myself judging myself and to be honest about when I am judging myself, to in the end forgive myself and revert back to equilibrium of no emotions/feelings dictating my experience.

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About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
This entry was posted in 7 Year Journey To Life, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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