When is a good or bad experience real? Skimming through my life most of the suffering was a matter of definition of words. The same applied to a good deal of my good experiences. I wonder if what I’m experiencing right now is still an illusion, having the observations as illusion, my choice being an illusion. Money separates me from many realities that would have been a reality if my family wasn’t here. Experience, good or bad, is probably the point that sells the most products and convinces the most people and partly because of everyone’s experience, including my own, there’s no urgency for change. Experiences can very much be fabricated because my mind is a result of all the inputs and nothing more. You see the technology of this fabrication of experiences most obvious in luxury industries, like watches, earphones. Most of the time living in western society a good or bad experience is as real as the extent and degree we act on the experience but what designs a good or bad experience the sentences we construct and hold to be real a lot of that is invisible.
It can only be measured to the extent of my self honesty. When I want to believe in something better or worse I live as if parts of me doesn’t exist. It takes a physical reality bashing heads with others to make me react and only in hindsight, after the consequences, I might see. It’s as unpredictable or predictable as you work to be. It would be revolutionary if we had means to define all our possible reactions before it happens, that’s like getting to know the seed of consciousness we are. Taking myself to the lowest most negative point, investigating my likely response, that would have been great.
Experience is the word where fiction or lies and reality mix. It represents the most subjective in me, and experience is as relevant as my most delusional experience. I could, but I can’t value my experience and treat it as value when I still like or dislike things without knowing the reason. That means I’m still flowing from something already created, most obvious culprit is my past and all of it, but if it’s all of my past what do I trust? It means my sense of comfort and safety is misguided and misaligned, not a suitable response made in context. It’s fascinating that a person and a person way older can see the same behaviour and observe different things, it’s two worlds. But what decides which is real is the physical manifested consequence which if all the consequences were communicated, then there’s an equality in seeing. Older people don’t necessarily see all of reality either. It’s not a function of age, education, or upbringing or experiences had. It’s valuable to be able to see physical manifested consequences. But 24 years old, I still don’t know what this seeing is a function of. I only know when I’m deluded, I won’t see the consequences, and it’s very difficult to communicate the difference, and what is physical is not limited to physical objects.