“There must be more to life than this”
It must be more than a case of black or white, sung Freddie Mercury when he knew he was going to die. People I admire faced shitty circumstances but responded in the correct way, that as a black box the person benefits himself and those in his immediate vicinity, generally avoided calculating and grasped that his person would receive the best if he gives as he would like to receive. It’s kindness overcoming disdain and disgust, very intellectual disdain and disgust, meeting hard fists with a limp presence that softens everyone up.
Could it be that my bottom line – that which is directly spawned by my personality – is what matters that’s obstructing me? What practicality in my morals that leave me in a powerless position only able to survive at a more base level than the jobber? Bernard already said many years ago: ideas that cement you from ascending the competence hierarchy are bullshit. Every moment is a choice to run it to its end or stop.