Tag Archives: obsessed

Day 238: Investigating Test Taking Mentality, Part 4

Tests were also primarily the ‘lynchpin’ where I interpreted ‘the world’ to be ‘imposing’ rules on me at a swift pace.  I was being educated on how to be a predator that must apparently compete to survive as a emotional … Continue reading

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Day 234: Investigating Test Taking Mentality

From doing what interested me and I clearly saw within myself the usefulness of the topic I was studying, grade school presented a different set of rules.  Uniform, which was a small detail.  A fixed curriculum, with a fixed pace … Continue reading

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Day 224: The Paranoia Of Being At The Top

I commit myself to when/as I see myself believing that I must compete to remain in the top few through dominating over others, being aggressive and violent, to stop and breathe.  I realise that if I have to bully to … Continue reading

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Day 221: Staking Perfection On Survival

I commit myself to when/as I see myself reaching for a definition of perfection that is unattainable and I see my survival hanging on whether I become ‘perfect’ or not, to stop and breathe. I realise that I separate myself … Continue reading

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Day 218: Pressure To Be Perfect

Writing self forgiveness statements for Day 216: Survival, Perfection, Ambition, to open up the writing further to investigate my relationship to perfection. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pressure myself to survive and interpret surviving according … Continue reading

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Day 162: When I Imagine Smarter People Around Me…

Continued from this post: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop dedicating myself to a task only because of a feeling that I must stop before “I lose any more “internal resources” of focus, attention … Continue reading

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Day 155: Pressure to Succeed

From Day 154: Overwhelm Yourself to Control Yourself “My mother continuously pushed, but one point nagged at me: doing one thing zealously was how cults were formed and how people deceive themselves. If I am to put all of myself into … Continue reading

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Day 123: Drive To Success

Below is an expansion of Day 121: Me First!!!! and Day 122: Winners Are Simply Willing to Do What Losers Don’t “I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive myself to be first in as many … Continue reading

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Day 84: Learning Obsession

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing the imagination that I have done countless things ‘right’, but something ‘wrong’, that invalidates everything I have done and everything I have earned because of doing the ‘right’ things, to become a reason … Continue reading

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