Tag Archives: process

Day 18: Perfectionist Behaviour

I feel frightened that I am not holding up the perfect self application that I have seen myself live before.  But if that is not already here absolutely stable and consistent, it was never real. Before – that means the … Continue reading

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Process Update

Finally I realise something about the inner conflict and turmoil I have been generating inside myself, especially before I sleep and wake up. It’s the pursuit of happiness, projected into forms of security, intelligence, picture-perfect outcomes.  This is self-dishonesty; how … Continue reading

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Exploring My Past With Education

My failures at school.  Until now, I have allowed and accepted these memories to be coupled with feelings of regret, shame, immense self-judgment.  Today I realise I have not forgiven myself for these things yet.  And I realise that all … Continue reading

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Day Seven: Falling In Process When Dreaming, Sleep, Self-Worth, Self-Judgment

Woke up from a dream, that made me feel very convoluted inside, confused and frustrated at the confusion.  Why do I dream?  I dream because I accept and allow image manifestations around me to define who I am.  Who will … Continue reading

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Day Seven: Barriers to Aloneness, Doing Stupid Actions, Sexual Fantasies

(Hadn’t posted this up earlier because I wanted to finish all of the SF statements before I posted.  Working on the self-discipline point in real-time, there will be a gap in my daily writings.) I decided to go out today … Continue reading

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Day Two: Self Worth and Other People, My and Other’s Opinions, Porn, Secret Mind

Since returning back home in Hong Kong, the resident dog, Snowy, was more friendly than usual to me, as if I had changed for the better.  As she was more friendly with me, I caught myself looking at her for … Continue reading

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Day One: Boredom, Time-Looping in the Past, Self-Worth and School Achievements, Sleep

(MCS = mind consciousness system) feeling slightly bored, moments of remembering boredom of school, knowing I will go to school very soon, still looking at others for confirmation of my progress in process. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting … Continue reading

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