Tag Archives: stress

Day 373: First Love Trauma

First love. It’s not like I haven’t been in love before. I think it’s the evolution of the hope of something better in this life and as such, is a disgusting thing. Because the start of this want or hope … Continue reading

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Day 287: Letting Go of Regret

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wallow in regret as if I would like to punish me for not being able to get what I want and desire on my terms.” The biggest regret I … Continue reading

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Day 239: Test Taking Mentality

Learning was reduced into a petty competition through the test form.  I couldn’t enjoy learning anymore – I had to compete.  I couldn’t just learn anymore = I had to be the best, perfect myself, and perfect myself.  Everyone was … Continue reading

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Day 234: Investigating Test Taking Mentality

From doing what interested me and I clearly saw within myself the usefulness of the topic I was studying, grade school presented a different set of rules.  Uniform, which was a small detail.  A fixed curriculum, with a fixed pace … Continue reading

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Day 219: Tensing Up The Body

Getting tense in my body again.  And the first thoughts I have are how the people around me – everything and everyone else – are making me tense.  This is survival paranoia, lately I have been using the arm bar … Continue reading

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Day 218: Pressure To Be Perfect

Writing self forgiveness statements for Day 216: Survival, Perfection, Ambition, to open up the writing further to investigate my relationship to perfection. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pressure myself to survive and interpret surviving according … Continue reading

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Day 213: Can The Work Be Done With Already?

I commit myself to when/as I see myself justifying resisting doing a task immediately out of the excuse that I have no way to know the consequences until the damage has been done after doing it, to stop and breathe. … Continue reading

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Day 201: Daily Grind Of Routine

I commit myself to when/as I see myself complaining about doing the same routine over and over, to stop and breathe. I realise that I am simply doing the task, as I would begin ANY task, breathing in, making a … Continue reading

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Day 176: Might As Well Not Try

I commit myself to when/as I see myself believing that my participation, anything I do, is useless, to stop and breathe. I realise that every moment I victimize myself to not participate, every day I participate in the same habits/patterns … Continue reading

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Day 171: Intelligence, Not Something That Can Be Hoarded

I commit myself to when/as I see myself not having this ‘intelligence’ that I refer to in my Mind as a product I can apparently hoard and accumulate, to stop and breathe. I realise that I am not dealing with … Continue reading

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