Tag Archives: survival

Day 235: Investigating Test Taking Mentality, Part 2

I was introduced to tests as a form of competing against others, where a world of people would be ranked and half were thrown out, my mind’s reasoning was that the minimum grade was 60% for a pass, so I … Continue reading

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Day 232: Perfection Religion

I commit myself to when/as I see myself believing that only perfection will ensure my survival in this moment, to stop and breathe.  I realise that my sudden demand for perfection from myself is from the starting point of panicking … Continue reading

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Day 231: Test Taking Fears

I commit myself to when/as I see myself interpreting tests as master over my life, a slave to tests, to stop and breathe.  I realise that tests are not the sum total of all the moments of my life, the … Continue reading

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Day 229: Foundation Of Perfection As Panicking About Survival

I commit myself to when/as I see myself panicking about what I am doing to survive – have I made the right choice to do X, what if the one action I choose is wrong – to stop and breathe. … Continue reading

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Day 228: Having Position And Wealth, Taking From Others

I commit myself to when/as I see myself resorting to taking to preserve my position in the world out of the excuse that I am feeling dread seeing others grow faster than me, imagining them soon taking over my position, … Continue reading

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Day 221: Staking Perfection On Survival

I commit myself to when/as I see myself reaching for a definition of perfection that is unattainable and I see my survival hanging on whether I become ‘perfect’ or not, to stop and breathe. I realise that I separate myself … Continue reading

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Day 220: Desirable Traits As Perfection

I commit myself to when/as I see myself pressuring myself to achieve the perfect set of skills, traits without any regard for reality, to stop and breathe. I realise that skills and traits are not commodities, in terms of practical … Continue reading

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Day 219: Tensing Up The Body

Getting tense in my body again.  And the first thoughts I have are how the people around me – everything and everyone else – are making me tense.  This is survival paranoia, lately I have been using the arm bar … Continue reading

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Day 218: Pressure To Be Perfect

Writing self forgiveness statements for Day 216: Survival, Perfection, Ambition, to open up the writing further to investigate my relationship to perfection. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pressure myself to survive and interpret surviving according … Continue reading

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