I know I have been writing generally, and have not disclosed many personal details. I just get the feeling that the personal feeling and the ranting and raving is so unstable that a single physical movement, like a breath breathed with clear direction, would disperse it and a problem becomes not a problem. It’s a general pattern of the mind to use curiosity to make you go ‘there’ into the mind, for example wondering why, instead of grounding yourself ‘here’ and giving things and people space to come to you ‘here’, than chase and haste and waste yourself into going into fears and worries and concerns.
As of right now, my utmost important point to live is equality and oneness. What does that mean? Accepting and embracing where I am, who I am, and the responsibility embedded within being who I am. And despite the mind and consciousness being the sole cause for illusions and delusions that perpetuate evil, there is something in mind and consciousness that is instructive and can be used for good, for lack of a better word. Even though illusions are bad, in a way they only reflect the badness already existent within ourselves. And the solution is not to demonize it, or to shoo it away when it’s here, like the doomed mood. A key is investigating the consequence of deceiving myself for my own self interest/illusion/delusion and really investigating what is real and what is mind, and what of the mind is being imposed and insisted on being given a piece of this physical reality through expressing such mind or thoughts through my flesh physical body. Every breath is actually counted. What does that mean?
Each and every breath, including the breaths I take in between writing each sentence, is already an opportunity in full measure and completeness to breathe into it the principle of equality and oneness, otherwise known as understanding. If the understanding does not flow into change and a permanent end to repeating the same moment, the understanding is stunted. I feel like so many problems due to personalities and characters are solved by not acting on them, by the simple act of stopping what is preexisting narrative story and not following the curiosity in fake ignorance to physically manifest the end. It’s a phrase we often use on the journey to Life: I stop – I breathe.
Kasper's Journey To Life 