I’m in the grips of an illness. Yesterday was a rough night with harsh judgment, criticism, seeking to destroy myself. I keep thinking, yes we are the cause of suffering in every way, but to investigate how in a berating way or a way seeking to destroy one’s confidence is just adding fuel to the fire, thinking we will not burn. Investigating consequence and the depth of my responsibility for myself and how my thoughts/words/deeds become me should be an inevitable empowering journey, I mean yes the shame is real, but to not move from shame to action in an empowering way makes me the problem again, instead of seeking that balance of problem-solution, not problem-problem-paralysis-problem.
I’m amazed by how I and each one sort of have awareness, from the angle that we direct ALL of our actions, from the great to the small. I’m amazed at myself for having that sense of balance to be able to direct myself to listen to an interview, be here in the moment while taking the train, while walking to my destination. The human physical body is a vessel making the birthing of Life from the Physical possible. Beyond ALL knowledge, this connection to the physical body is more profound than the greatest knowledge, it connects me to the entire universe. I am a body in an environment, in humanity, in Earth as water/air/dust, in the universe.
The simplifying point is I have to sort out myself, give myself clear direction, be predictable in the most constructive sense of the word, before I am able to consider more than myself. The chaos I observe without in the physical reflection of the mirror that is this physical reality, is really actually the chaos I accept and allow within, in the smallest. Maybe that’s how we’re wired. I cannot believe the overflowing cup of Life and aliveness that comes with embodying a predictable, trustworthy human being diligently practicing to optimize outcomes to what is best for all Life always. The outcome that can be not a product of knowledge, the outcome that is best for all can be realized without a single thread of knowledge, that outcome is more profound than all of humanity’s knowledge throughout its entire history. It’s like knowledge has embedded within it our greed to benefit ourselves only, justified by fear. The important and essential about living is not situated in books or words of knowledge, it’s something firsthand that is to be made our own, and is obvious regardless of how much we know or how little we know.
In Desteni speech, it’s redefining and living words. There’s a certain way to infiltrate the unyielding, indestructible invincible mind and thoughts/thinking with the will and the choice to stand for what is best for all, specific to each moment of breath, every single breath. Just the willingness to submit to the obvious destruction of knowledge and what the mind represents, and to contribute and add to what is here gives glimpses of eternity as possible in myself as one, amongst all ones in the universe. It’s one of the important points to grasp: we are here as human to discover and embrace and be embraced by eternity, as what is best for all Life always. A sustainable way of being.
Kasper's Journey To Life 