Another day, another write. Another possible letting off of steam, or something akin to that but slightly shifted into that ever profound process of permanent, timeless change. A discovery of what is always important throughout all age periods. I mean we see history as Middle Ages, Renaissance, etc., it’s like how we see ourselves through our age groups: 0-7, 7-14, 14-21, 21-28, etc.
It bothers me that I can be stable and so sure of myself for up to two weeks, but when the emotions get overwhelming in one moment I tap out. This point has to do with accumulation, adding up, accounting, and me asking myself how I shift into this intense negative emotion despite exploring and expanding my reality throughout those two weeks. Reality is something that is always important, timelessly, say of Life Substance, whose rules as laws of physics have never evolved nor changed for almost eternity, compared to humanity.
The past week has been slowly but surely making excuses for integrating myself into society and really putting myself out there from a starting point of knowing who I am and who I WILL be, an extension of the personal inner journey of making my decisions substantial through dedication, effort, and discipline over time. More than people/things coming arriving at my doorstep, I want to emphasize me going to THEM/IT.
Of many themes about human living, there’s the never giving up no matter how it looks ugly, and there’s the important matter of initiative, proactive initiative. For some reason, the system and institutions made by people will always be passive in the way that they will NEVER arrive at your doorstep on a golden platter being fed to your lips. If you have strengths, if you have skills, if you have the heart and the passion, it’s like each person has to report it to the system. And we do that by taking initiative, not waiting, not hoping, but taking initiative. Being proactive. When we see a problem, or something about ourselves that is misaligned, don’t wait. In that sense, time being against us is a good thing in the way that it is our mirror to teach us to cherish our time and not wait, not waste it.
I comment to myself, there can be worse people with less pure intentions that put themselves out there nonetheless, how bad can I be that I internally shut myself out and isolate myself by not doing the same? I want to think that I’m a fairly nice, okay friendly, life-loving person. Besides, all relationships as a thousand miles journey started with the first step, my ‘first relationship’ condensed into how I approach ALL relationships as summarized as ONE relationship, or N relationship. Just as one word connects to every word, the ONE relationship HERE implies the totality of my existence.
Kasper's Journey To Life 