Who am I as education?
- I fear working a job that takes most of my time within a day
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to having a job or not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what will not happen if I commit most of my time to a job in a day, where I fear not realizing myself, I fear not being self honest with myself, if I do not have the time to write in a day.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I am either going to commit to a job that takes most of my time, or I have no job at all, so no money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I can only either go into education or work, and there is no other way but to accept and allow either work or education to take up most of my time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that everything I do can be explained as either educating myself or working, and not seeing what I am living as how I am doing things.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the observation that another can look at what I’m doing and say it’s education or it’s work, and my entire experience is summed up as either education or work.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that without the human, there will be no such thing as education or work, so rather than projecting education and work into a global personality, I should look into who I am as education and work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide hidden interests within the word education, such as the intent to brainwash me into a system of thought to regulate my impulses to only accept impulsiveness that support the system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imply to myself that I am brainwashing myself when I am educating myself in the education system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger towards myself because of thinking I am brainwashing myself when I am educating myself in the education system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that projecting anger outwards towards those people in the education system is a good idea to prevent brainwashing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define education according to brainwashing, instead of redefining and living the word education into something I would like to live.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to redefine education according to uncovering, exposing, revealing parts of myself to me through a process of reading books, listening to interviews and lectures, and writing exams.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define education according to slavery, instead of redefining education as a word that I live, into the exact method and process of self expansion and self introspection necessary to live effectively.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become transfixed with the idea that slavery is education, instead of investigating my own processes of education to realize that I am only able to articulate myself now because of education, so in a funny way, education is a sort of freedom, unfortunately not a freedom everyone is able to afford yet.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at everything and everyone for pushing me into a life of work or education, where I believe it is not my choice to be in work or education, and I do not have a choice.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for pushing myself into a life of work or education, apparently because of others, but really because of my own acceptance and allowance for these two words, work and education, to ‘ruin my life’ or direct my life for me.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that throughout education or work, I was in fact aware, and the points that I was brainwashed into were part of my own inherent weaknesses, and not exactly education or work’s fault, the fault was my own.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize my own awareness throughout all time through all work and education, and how I am not innocent. In this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take up my own responsibility for the way things are now, because of my own acceptances and allowances.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my own conduct throughout work and education out of the reason/excuse/justification that I was not given a choice, that I was not responsible for myself in that. Instead of realizing that I was facing myself all along throughout those years in education and work, and it’s time to keep on facing myself by putting myself out there by getting stuck into education and work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to picture education and work as if they were sucking the life force out of me, instead of realizing that I was responsible for suppressing my life force.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I have no choice but to participate in education or work, instead of realizing the choice is within who I am and what I do, what I stand for, than it is in ‘educating’ or ‘working’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for myself all these years to give myself a choice, and become frustrated and angry at myself for seeing there is no choice, instead of embracing that while there is not a choice, I will always be here and I will always face myself, so I cannot get lost.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of becoming lost if I fully participate in education and work.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is not my choice to be in work or education, but I am here, I require to prove to myself that Life is here/I am here, so allow things to flow and always side with the constructive aspects about myself/education/work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to interrupt the flow that education and work presents, out of the excuse/reason/justification that ‘everything terrible started from education into work’, instead of realizing the choice I am faced with when I am approached by people in education/work, to support the life in them and the life in me, or wreak destruction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame education and work as if they were external personalities for ‘ruining my life’, instead of taking responsibility for my own conduct within education AND work, and opting for a solution-oriented approach and method of processing all the events, people, and circumstances around education and work, to literally be a living example to as high a standard as I can manage.