Day 613: Experience is What Unites and Divides Me From Reality

When is a good or bad experience real? Skimming through my life most of the suffering was a matter of definition of words. The same applied to a good deal of my good experiences. I wonder if what I’m experiencing right now is still an illusion, having the observations as illusion, my choice being an illusion. Money separates me from many realities that would have been a reality if my family wasn’t here. Experience, good or bad, is probably the point that sells the most products and convinces the most people and partly because of everyone’s experience, including my own, there’s no urgency for change. Experiences can very much be fabricated because my mind is a result of all the inputs and nothing more. You see the technology of this fabrication of experiences most obvious in luxury industries, like watches, earphones. Most of the time living in western society a good or bad experience is as real as the extent and degree we act on the experience but what designs a good or bad experience the sentences we construct and hold to be real a lot of that is invisible.

It can only be measured to the extent of my self honesty. When I want to believe in something better or worse I live as if parts of me doesn’t exist. It takes a physical reality bashing heads with others to make me react and only in hindsight, after the consequences, I might see. It’s as unpredictable or predictable as you work to be. It would be revolutionary if we had means to define all our possible reactions before it happens, that’s like getting to know the seed of consciousness we are. Taking myself to the lowest most negative point, investigating my likely response, that would have been great.

Experience is the word where fiction or lies and reality mix. It represents the most subjective in me, and experience is as relevant as my most delusional experience. I could, but I can’t value my experience and treat it as value when I still like or dislike things without knowing the reason. That means I’m still flowing from something already created, most obvious culprit is my past and all of it, but if it’s all of my past what do I trust? It means my sense of comfort and safety is misguided and misaligned, not a suitable response made in context. It’s fascinating that a person and a person way older can see the same behaviour and observe different things, it’s two worlds. But what decides which is real is the physical manifested consequence which if all the consequences were communicated, then there’s an equality in seeing. Older people don’t necessarily see all of reality either. It’s not a function of age, education, or upbringing or experiences had. It’s valuable to be able to see physical manifested consequences. But 24 years old, I still don’t know what this seeing is a function of. I only know when I’m deluded, I won’t see the consequences, and it’s very difficult to communicate the difference, and what is physical is not limited to physical objects.

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Day 612: Good Men Aren’t Born On A Cloud in Heaven

Applying good practice and the opposite of vicious cycles, constructive cycles to my life. Reminds me of a familiar feeling of the body having everything it needs like growing a plant, give sunshine, water, and food, and air. With the body it’s food, water, shelter, and regular early sleep. Exercise. Makes me wonder what I was searching for when I essentially gave up on eating right, taking water, and regular early sleep. Like a phase in everyone’s life where capitalism talks a big game about its power and inciting desires, I become a little obsessed and addicted to if it’s not experiences then material objects or drug abuse. The body wins guaranteed.

In spite of the body having everything it needs I find it somewhat stifling. But it’s this or a spectrum of pain. Will is misinterpreted to be working for my ideals working against my body, at that stage the mind is dominant. Mind seems to not require sleep, it can worry and calculate and ruminate 24/7.

It’s possible that a talk can rid of and prevent people born before you to not enter that stage where the mind is dominant. But it’s not in capitalism’s interests, so it’s not in adult’s interests in prevention. Shouldn’t it be clear by now capitalism seeks chaos and seeks profit from the chaos? Educated people with common sense is as revered as it is denied a way to grow. Ask your authorities why, and probably watch them make up a reason, and witness another phenomenon that has grown and infected the very people that make up a society. Under the outspoken support of money the idea is sold that everyone has to lie sometimes. Become a generation of liars in a competition with no rules.

I don’t know if anyone else experienced this, but the education system sort of does that to you. It systematically slowly gives you more on your plate, convinces you it’s yours, that if you do not protect what’s yours it will be taken, and every year a greater proportion of the class defect to a side that I realize is not my side, nor is it a peaceful side, it’s actually violent, until everyone defects and it’s called normal to tell white lies. If that’s the case by parent’s good will and intention, we’ve developed an education system under the banner of education, that gives people every reason to withhold information and use information to one’s own personal advantage. I don’t have to say anything about the work system, the job system, a death threat of if you don’t agree with at least one of these employers that are birds of a feather, no money no life. I’ve noticed the media caters to the worker ensnared as a middleman amongst the economic war being fought between people in power and people with money. Leading me to think the old has died to be replaced by people with a little too much money to quit, but not enough money to do what people with power or money do. And the whole look of the rich and powerful has improved, that was welcomed by capitalism, meanwhile the education and the aspects that cause man to remain good seem to have deteriorated a lot. When people are good it’s thought to be a heavenly decree done by the individual by himself, but meanwhile we’re specifying very specifically how to turn people bad. We’re angry at some of these people, but not angry at the system that turns people out. Can’t it be the case that goodness doesn’t only come from the heart, it comes from very practical systems affording people the time and money to be good hearted? Economic climate is known to pull humanity in a direction like a dog on a leash. The psychological effects of money are underestimated and misrepresented.

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Day 611: Stop Worrying!

Troubles. Comforting life troubles can be quantifying your progress in the various ways progress is measurable, and approximating the direction and extent it will bring over periods of time. Problem with western world thinking is all can look at the goal, but in focusing on the goal as an idea or ideal any day’s worth of progress seems like nothing has changed. Focusing on the nitty gritty details of living and living progress, it’s easy to feel safe and satisfied with the movement that I create, sometimes it’s so infinitesimally small that it’s not enough movement. Adding the approximation step gives me an indication over a day whether I’ve done enough. Living day in day out, I’ve recently discovered my progress in a day is the part of the cycle I should be sparing and place my attention towards directing. Thinking about progress in weeks and months doesn’t have the immediate feedback that thinking in days has. Everything fits when it’s a daily ritual, you get little breaks and a big break that’s sleep and you actually feel refreshed the next morning, recharged to get stuck in in developing the methods you’re going to apply to measurably move forward.

Living in western society my tendency is to worry. It’s simple to leave it as worry but slightly unpleasant in living worry. Am I doing enough? Will I get to where I want to go? Am I giving myself too much time? And there’s the unpredictable illness, pains, so many things can go wrong with a body. So many things can go wrong but they don’t in a society. I don’t have time, but there is time. I have many chances, but there is a last chance at death, that’s already planned and decided and an inevitable certainty. Without any other tools or any great insight, relishing the progress and approximating it is the best I can do at this time.

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Day 611: Mind, Being, Body

Rarely, I will ask myself why struggle so much when the destiny of humans is to be birthed and die? Fear of death throws me on the side of life. To me it doesn’t make sense that I would want to be famous or have a lot of people like me, or teach a lot of people when everyone goes through death. Being famous and whatnot is merely having a louder sharper voice amongst the crowd for only a moment in Existence from which my body returns to. How great is the difference between a person having the voice to affect only themselves, and another affecting millions, amongst uncountable number of life forms and amongst an Existence that includes us, but includes everything and everyone else? How great is the difference between sharing a message and having the person say yes, compared to the person saying no? What difference is so great between being unlearned and having learning? Between yes and no, how much difference is there?

A day well spent and a day spent lazily both occupy a day, what about a life? The trend in western society is to glorify the hard worker that struggles and stresses and puts on his shoulders as many conflicts as he can handle. One way or the other, all can imagine the hard worker and I fall always a bit short. We work, and we’re feeding ourselves and paving the road to financial stability maybe insert a few systems or services for people. We’re lazy, and our health improves we’re not on such a precarious mental tightrope. Both being lazy and working hard “improves” our own life but for some reason we can’t meld the two together and keep the advantages of each and discard the shortcomings of each. The idea of balance comes in, between giving others the opportunity to live and making absolute our necessities within living daily, the immediate “solution” is to periodically go to both extremes. It’s a joke but it’s a fashion embraced by the system out of necessity to have people work long term for the system and it happens to align with the nature of the mind which likes to think and occupy itself in polarities/extremes. The system being an externalization of the mind, both the individual and the collective win, though at the behest of the environment and Earth in general.

I propose not participating in the tradition of extremes because of the imminent stress it places on your mind, being, and body, and that’s about all everyone has. Seems exciting and your body is actually quite tough in that it puts up with the stress, but the invisible influential relationship of my awareness linking the mind, being, and body is denied. Because obsession tends to blind one to one or two points, and working hard and having lazy holidays incites obsession and you have an excuse of you’re either working or you’re having a holiday to not ask and answer the uncomfortable questions. Uncomfortable questions of which have great potential of benefit to you personally if you were willing to answer for yourself. Behaviours and habits that can’t be shown or shared in public is the most obvious place to start. Weaknesses, personalities, characters, takes advantage of the already built in machine of the mind and there’s no possibility every personality and character has gotten a good result in physical reality. I don’t doubt certain personalities and characters gain a lot of support and money, but the whole premise is unstable because you’re relying on the past to theoretically get you to understand what’s here to manipulate what’s here to equal money and support. What about letting go and eradicating the past, to understand what’s here, to instead of manipulate based on fears and interests/desires, manipulate what’s here to an outcome that’s best for all because if the past is measurably let go of in its entirety as yourself, you’ll have space to see how to rearrange stuff to benefit everyone. That doesn’t mean your interest deletes itself, your interest is considered within the context of everyone else’s interests and everyone has an equally significant interest.

Man know thyself. A man who knows others is cunning, a man who knows himself has strength. A growing trend that’s inevitable is people specifying the understanding between the mind, being, and body because by now, or maybe not, people are realizing only serving one or the other is not healthy. Very few groups are taking as their purpose to research and share findings on this nonexistent relationship according to literature throughout history. Everyone has one, don’t deny it, find out how it works through your own work or someone else’s work. Why can someone else’s work be relevant to my own mind? We’re not special.

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Day 610: Some Lessons Learnt After Crossing Swords

What do I have to say that will be value? I’m curious because I’m asking in a state where I realize I have misinterpreted value, and require a process to realign my value to the value of life, and this definition has become the fountain from which all my decisions and behaviour come from, and changing this one thing would imply that I have to change myself completely. I crossed swords with my family and I notice some things. The intent behind driving the behaviour or words are never hidden. In spite of my past blindness, if you really step back from your reactions, which is few, it’s there. And just like me what people put themselves into by thinking about it alot or doing things in the same way you get a sense of the history people walked, not a full view but it’s like muscle memory but mind based, you hear it in the words, probably feel it in the touch, probably in the kind of deeds a person commits to. But the deeds we never get a full view of the consequences which would have inferred the nature of the deed. The few times we’re in a safe space and in a peaceful calm state, a sense of the intent within/as words, deeds, behaviours is plainly seen.

I spoke with X and stated how no matter what I’m doing, it’s never enough it can always be a bit better. Being told in many ways that I am not doing enough for myself, it’s my life what’s it matter to her, I’m an adult now, I noted and spoke that I took it cynically and negatively. To her it’s being a bit better, and who can’t be a bit better all the time, no matter the age, life experiences, talents, you can be better. What I proposed as a solution was to say it in a way that I understand what needs to be done, what can be done. And X told me she couldn’t tell the difference. But more about my process, I estimate that if the chasing for good were grounded in what she sees I am able to do, but I am deciding not to do it, and to rather give suggestions as an introduction to finding the real reason why, I won’t object or react. Of course the excuses were brought up, we’re adults, I’m too lazy to apply what you suggest, too much work, you’re responsible for your own life, you live with the consequences of your actions, I just won’t say anything, I won’t care anymore since you hear me speak real shit and don’t take it the right way, I won’t say what I think anymore. Time tells me if she’ll accept her own excuses, or if she cares enough to make her own dissatisfactions with me into something more constructive. I don’t agree with the opinion that nagging is a form of care, I interpret it as the other’s outlet to materialize their dissatisfaction and exert their standards through spoken words often triggering feelings of inferiority or a fear of not being enough, it’s a form of manipulation and venting at the people they’re stuck with. If I really cared about someone and he told me this, I would immediately change the sentence structure of my words. And create my apparent care into some form of spoken words that responsibility is grasped and opportunity is realized, create care into care with measurable consequences proven best for all over time. So I don’t know what X is doing. It doesn’t matter, I got my own mind shit to walk.

In spite of crossing swords I’m still here. And it’s noticed to be amazing to be here on Earth, having a physical body amongst uncountable bodies and different beings. I think history is most epic as the history that everyone was forced to live with, because add self honesty and all the wars being fought will change into lessons. Not just any lesson, the exact lessons you need to learn specific to your weakness that you victimize yourself to, or mope around in despair, or depression as an attempt to manipulate your environment, that you fight through resisting and denying the weakness, that you accept to be as comfortable as your breathing, basically anything but the one starting point and perspective and path and way to get rid of weakness. Self honesty applied to only your own history liberally throughout time, and everything you’ve done becomes value, all the mistakes are absolved by you, the most important person that weighs all of the mistakes, all the detours don’t end up as dead ends but doors to self discovery. It’s funny that people throughout time have probably made all the mistakes I made, but just because it’s mine I think sometimes it’s the end of me. What mistakes have you made that haven’t been made by another throughout history? Bernard asked me that question. Meaning what places so much value on your one or two mistakes when it’s not new and will not be the last person born onto Earth making that mistakes? They lived and died with the exact same mistake you made, and they lived. Earth is gracious and very very forgiving. Too bad I need to forgive myself for even that detail to mean something and represent value.

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Day 609: Family as a Force For Good

I might be writing and going on like a broken record. How the world is set up and how people actually interact with each other has been like a splinter in my mind for the longest time. I’ve yet to meet a single human being that’s as simple or naive as me, just wanting everyone to get along inside and out. It’s like everywhere I look the gossip exists, conflicts exist, between two characters, everyone is settling for what they can immediately get for themselves. No one talks about social change or how or what needs to change in a society a country to let everyone win. Aside from me, everyone else in my social circles are occupied with survival and how to enjoy themselves the most while living this life. The education and upbringing is simply that effective at subduing any questions about what’s around me. A question I’d like to ask everyone is why am I virtually the only one that puts an imperfect interaction with the system and common sense together to see any one person’s good will isn’t enough, a change in the laws governing populations and a change in the economy governing populations is what’s necessary to realize equality. I don’t doubt being a good person and having everyone say you’re good is a profound experience to live. But in light of this individual experience what ever happened to ensuring everyone has the opportunity to be good and be called good? Economy, politics, law, kind of force those most vulnerable to the systems – people with no money have no voice – to either ideology wise submit to us people that give the jobs, or words and deeds wise absolutely be submissive to us people that give jobs, and in many cases sacrifice their environment and their minds to align with the opinions of us people that give jobs. To the people that have money the changes in the economy, politics, and laws are only considered at arm’s length to feel one is worldly and cares about what is going on but the changes never affect people with money directly. The money protects the minds of people into pockets of time, up to the generation that you accepted to define you, just selling and keeping alive some values, but money really works at separating people from the darker interests and from each other. That’s why a lot of people turn to creating a family to feel a sense of belonging eventually, because in a way it’s too difficult to continue existing in a reality where no one cares about you. Things like family and companionship injected with money gives a great illusion. Two or more in my name, it only takes one other person that agrees with your values to feel like home. But I think companionship and family are being misused where if you remained single and stare at the horrible truth, you would have asked questions and would have valued social change more. But the family and companionship separate one into a bubble of love and the attitude that is nurtured in the family and in partnership is you’re only safe with me/us, everyone else is dangerous! Simultaneously, sometimes you would even wonder why people are so cutthroat and selfish to everyone else but their own family and partner.

It’s said family is the vehicle of love, but its actual workings and what it does to other people besides yourself is not recognized, at all. Lonliness, desires, lust, a sense of home/belonging, these are the words that kick all of us in the ass to either fall deep into despair, or convulsively seek the light. There is another way, you neither need to fall into despair or be hypnotized by the light. But that way requires a really specific understanding of yourself and forgiveness. I don’t think it’s new that in each person’s mind is an inner calculating force that overrides all intentions at critical points of decision. The way that force convinces you to act in self interest? That’s how specific you would need to be to have another way other than despair or the blinding effect of love.

If the family were always a force for good the whole society shouldn’t be downfalling devolving into more selfish agressive cynical dark people. The way we live family needs to change if we care about what is going on. The family in how we teach our children the ropes in the system has been the force that has predicted all disaster, all financial bubbles, it has decided so many things about the trends we follow, the music we listen to, the acceptable spectrum of desires provided for by the system, the unacceptable desires, right, wrong, good, bad. The election of Trump into office, Brexit, all the big events happening in the world.

Trump was an event that has its seeds in an atrocious education causing people to believe in the slogans. Brexit was the accumulated consequence of not directing the UK’s economy to provide jobs for everyone within the UK, there were whole towns and areas in the UK that were once part of manufacturing but the jobs left. That and suppressed dissatisfaction with the system, Brexit gave an outlet to UK citizens to voice their compounded frustration.

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Day 608: Rant

I was talking to X when she noted that I’m still asking questions about what am I doing here, what I should be doing, and too much writing about the problem than changing myself in relationship to whatever problems that I see. It’s either this topic or how in life, you’re given free choice but there’s no free consequences, and how money and our decisions with money to back them often leads us to consequences that cannot be reversed and therefore have to be faced as a daily living experience. So this idea and how often I imagine all people make a choice, about their life about the moving parts in their life, only to find out the consequence after the choice and because of money as a system of value, not having the money to reverse what was done, having to embrace a way forward even though I may not like it.

Putting the second idea into perspective, it’s like you’re a company and you decide to make your living by introducing a new product into the local market. Let’s say it is to sell dried wild blueberries. Then you think of an idea of automating the production process with a machine and the idea seems good. But because of the startup costs you decided to go with an inferior machine manufacturer, because the other company that does it properly is too expensive. You committed money to the machine, and then it’s wrought with problems, it jams, the scale doesn’t work, the error margin is too extreme, have to pack the blueberries practically by hand measuring them on a scale before using the sealing and cutting parts of the machine. It’s an example of how ideas seem good but in implementation, are bad. You’ve already invested into this machine, and are not only reluctant to purchase a new one, you don’t have the money, where is the money supposed to come from? So a realization I had is doing things properly, having a proper operation or team or honest people, is actually really expensive compared to the economy choice, the one that gives you an operation, for the least money. In a way doing things properly as a business or anything related to moving money, requires a hefty investment. Where does this investment usually come from and how is it possible that there is money for you in the first place? Then you have the economy’s choice, that’s what I call it, because all the parts of the economy come together and equates to a flawed product, but it’s using all the mainstream most easily available resources and products to make this particular product. The economy’s choice is the most bang for your buck, it’s predictably what most people can afford, implying that products that are functional and effective are viewed by our economy to be a luxury. It’s like the blueberry machine, not everyone can actually afford the investment into one that is fully functional, it’s like the economy contradicts itself being the pioneer of progress.

But you still have to live with the choice you made, that or somehow you come up with the money to buy the proper machine. This is an example of how in life, you’re forced by time and emotions and environments to make choices, but often you make a choice and it has consequence. Then you have to embrace whatever choice you made because there’s no money to move back and this moving forward is far too romanticized. It’s like people’s wills are misused instead of asking why circumstances forced them to have this will, the will is celebrated and tacitly the economy is celebrated. The problems are not faced deliberately just because it feels better to celebrate the economy and tacitly celebrate our success in the economy. Put a cloak around what we’ve actually done with the money we hold as a form of status and power, mixing with the crowd when it’s convenient, denying the existence of a problem. This happens to be normal common behaviour according to the representatives of my group. But this normal is not normal in an absolute existential context, it’s the norms accepted by and through the economy and everyone’s vested interests. I’m finding out it’s actually quite critical that anyone distinguishes this difference between normals because that’s how you remain sane as a participant within a system with very specific demands and opinions. Either this or you’ll be confused. And worse yet, feeling good about this confusion misjudging it to be spontaneity. And we’re not talking about the people around that’s affected by your decisions.

Back to my chat with X, I think there are very few options I can take and commit to as a routine and growing cycle in terms of making a life for myself. That just means making enough money to hold your head above the water regardless of how you do it. But how I do it matters to me because I would like to live a life with no regrets so there’s preparation necessary and an action timeline and insight required. So what I should do in this life relatively short term to make possible my long term goals is kind of decided by the system. The system’s always been “pick your poison”. And in the system are obviously the most clever minds in positions of authority, kind of watching at a distance letting you squirm into your niche. Possibly thinking they know how your life will play out. How it will contort and compromise within the limitations of money. But I haven’t given up, I’m watching them as they are watching me seeing what they’ve settled for. I haven’t seen a person’s life and what they’re settling for, and think I would be satisfied with that existentially and absolutely. It’s only possible the satisfaction if you give up your inherent responsibility to each other and the Earth.

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Day 607: Hong Kong’s Politics

There’s nothing else I want to add at this time. I have my past to walk, processes of developing skills to walk, earning a paltry salary for my living expenses, everything else is stable. Anything more I write to expound the potential usefulness of self forgiveness and self honesty would be overlapping material.

Things are calm on my end. It helps a lot when you have a friend that’s worked in the clothing industry in the biggest manufacturer of clothing, China, sharing good deals on clothing and shoes every now and then. Hong Kong will never be able to refuse the support of China in how water is from China, most vegetables and fruits from China, tourism from China, Tao Bao from China, people that’s smart often come to Hong Kong from China. Impossible that Hong Kong will ever be “independent”. Government is run under the auspices of Chinese leadership, I don’t think the young people revolting in Hong Kong understand the depth of the relationship between Hong Kong and China, and the current system allowing superiors to rule inferiors, or how about allowing superiors to define a lot of conditions that Hong Kong either follows to the benefit of its economy, order in the government, the luxury of having Chinese aid if/when in times of trouble, or it doesn’t and Hong Kong will tarnish its reputation as a competitive economy, it won’t be competitive anymore, and Hong Kong will lose its seeming charm. The highest house prices in the world won’t be convincing there will be no more legitimate reason to stay high without Chinese support government wise, tourist wise, immigrant wise, economy wise.

There is a boss-worker dynamic between Hong Kong and China. Sure the people in Hong Kong are more polite and learnt manners under British rule, but I think the biggest reason to come to Hong Kong is still its economy. If that ever fails, no one will come to Hong Kong for work or play. Chinese from China may not have the same upbringing as Hong Kong people, but in a way they have all the money, all the technology, all the innovations, all the manufacturing capacity and technology, natural resources.

Have you ever wondered why at some stage every adult turns to understanding the economy, his/her own country’s politics, and knowing other people? It gives an illusion of control and power, it’s the security of knowing the character of a country, the economy, other people, and seemingly being able to approximate the future and protect oneself from other things and people. But I’m not kidding myself, all my individual peculiarities and behaviours and habits is attracting and building a very specific future and circumstance and environment in which I’m stuck in if it’s negative, and in which I will live in and enjoy if it’s positive. Your own health is an unpredictable thing, let alone an economy with so many vested interests or a country with so many laws and procedures. Don’t even talk about other people, we’re really inferior to the person themselves in terms of knowing what’s happening in their secret mind and what they really want. But it’s absolutely interesting that people sometimes in my own mind too, it’s more easily accepted to assume others are self interested, pursuing their own vision of divinity and right and love and positive, in a way there’s a trust that eventually, everyone will allow self interest to override their critical decisions. It’s unheard of to accept and assume others are and will eventually give to their neighbours what they themselves would like to receive, do unto others what they themselves want to be done unto. We’ve figured out every way to reasonably justify the validity of our personal individual desires for ourselves alone, but the detail and specificity required to no longer justify doing the right thing and instead realize the benefits for everyone including yourself for doing the right thing to actually be convinced of doing the right thing, that’s been a question mark unanswered by humanity since the beginning. Virtually nothing has been written or suggested as practical advice to attaining self honesty, a few catchy phrases here and there, but a method you can follow verbatim to the last step nothing has been written. The closest thing to a method has been self forgiveness with self honesty, applied as specific as your mind calculates every behaviour to the tee, and it’s interesting that you cannot walk a method like this without a little self honesty to begin with. A little will to want to be honest with yourself about what is really going on inside your mind, all to stop the unnecessary sentences and weaknesses to temptation.

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Day 606: Reptilians and Atlanteans

Last night I had the privilege of listening to the first interviews done by EQAFE by the Reptilians and Atlanteans. It was said that I don’t have time, but there is time. Hearing the Atlantean’s overview as a story was quite motivational because you get to hear the core beliefs and values of a race that was responsible for maintaining the equality and equilibrium amongst the oneness within Existence. I learnt to appreciate and be grateful for everyone else being here walking their journeys all coming from the same life source, but differing in influences, upbringing. The journey being alone, yet can learn from other’s thoughts, words, and deeds, listening to the interviews reminded me that I have aspects that only I can walk for myself for me to be genuine and actually understand, but we are living together so provided the information shared is agreed to benefit everyone, there is potential to learn from each other.

It doesn’t matter if they existed or not, what’s important is what information can be applied to the benefit of yourself in this life. Doing what’s best for yourself does include everyone else, provided this you is referring to your human physical body more than your ego or preferences. Compromising the body for momentary emotions and feelings is the reverse of living in Earth time. The sly thing about emotions and feelings is the greater skill that emotions and feelings justify themselves proving something in you knows you better than yourself, it’s possibly the trap everyone has visited in varying degrees under the banner of greed, lust, desires, ambition, love, light, positivity, to some degree also righteousness, goodness. Desteni invited me to investigate and find the answer by myself what is good and right, not defined by the past or upbringing or education or knowledge, defined by what is able to be measured and tested in time. It’s one of the few materials in the world that instead of suggesting theories using terminology that uphold a standard of sophistication and skin-deep intelligence, addresses the innate bias that is us and delivers solutions to fundamentally remove and realize our own bias to never think the same way again, and as a side effect actually feel more space in me to process and equate solutions according to the cross reference of common sense which exists in all languages. It’s easy to say I always need to measure and test living routines in real time, but I don’t test until I actually test the things. Plus when dealing with personal habits and addictions to thought patterns and selfish behaviours, you’re directly confronting your bias that became your comfort zone. This sort of category of myself is also the sort that can occupy a whole human life without changing an iota, so it’s actually easier to postpone and wait. But the consequence I really don’t know ten years from now the consequence of keeping any habit, so discarding immediate satisfaction for a possible lifetime of satisfaction, the consequence of not investigating is predictably more severe and painful than the discomfort of investigating and actually investigating sentence by sentence in writing.

One thing I’ve realized about the operating system of my mind is it works through a primary language English for me, and was accepted and allowed to grow through critical moments of living interspersed throughout my lifetime. Generally I was reacting to changes in my environment linguistically forcing my hand to compromise, meaning at 10 years old, I never considered anything that wasn’t suggested to me in one way or another; I couldn’t fathom anything beyond what was taught. Extremely limited, I bet all knowledge in the world right now still doesn’t address the intricacy and detail I need to be master of my human nature. Incomplete and incoherent points are suggested here and there, but the end result is the curiosity about my mind is quelled and I don’t develop the points to actual living routines and habits. Desteni we’re working with ourselves to identify the detail necessary to eventually steer our own human nature instead of human nature being the god that from which flows all of my creations, personalities, behaviours. There’s no principle higher than captaining our lives our human natures according to what is measurable and tested in reality over time best for all.

The nature of this project is personal so virtually no one wants to do this for themselves. From an observer view, people make money with their human nature so they think they’re right and good. The possible effects of completing this project – the mind is finite and limited to everything we have heard, read, or listened to, seen, and only the parts that stick – is beyond my imagination and what I can fathom is possible. I do this because if I want a life with no regrets, I must prepare and actually measure out a life with no regrets and live it.

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Day 605: Something Else Matters

Serious sometimes, something else others. Slightly brazen, unshy at heart, striving for the highest good. Where all see it’s impossible, I don’t think so. I think the highest good is like a foundation, one imperfection ruins the rest of the building. It should be taught as early as people can understand words, to me it’s the key to avoiding trouble and disaster. I can see myself in the smallest of creations by my hand, I can’t fool anybody. It’s said every hair on the head is counted, means every thought is seen. I’m the only one that is destined to stay with myself for eternity, might as well do the things properly. And have no regrets.

I value the notion that in my every thought, word, and deed, is embedded my intention. I have no excuse if my intentions were impure, or self serving and desiring, and disaster befalls me by whomever’s hand. I think compared to most, I’m outstanding and a loner when it comes to this sentiment. Most cater their lives to what they like. I want to question my life as to the value of it.

In a globalized world, money is the vehicle for desire. And right and wrong is seen within a state of emotions and feelings. What happened to the notion of serving each other within the highest good as a topic that haunts every breathing moment? Most are compulsive and it is where I would like to be sane. This topic passed like a fashion amongst the consciousness of the world. Is it because there is no money for standing amongst everyone in support? Today’s great thinkers make great products, not share a great ideology, a mindset and a value system that every life can live to the benefit of everyone.

Make no mistake, this world is not playing games; it’s waging an economic war with the product as the vehicle for both satisfying and taking from everyone if you really think about it. What can replace a safe society and living amongst sane rational human beings? There’s no replacement, there never will be a product to replace that. Sadly, Desteni are one of the groups sharing an ideology bent on replacing economic war with giving to thy neighbour as thyself. All kinds of reactions from globalized world, except for the expected one. Kids these days are in deep in something. A volatile world driven by a volatile mind is the actual product being peddled on the television. As the compulsion get more serious, me and the world are waiting for its consequence to shake the very foundation of each person’s mind, to have that opportunity to learn from the past. But you’re sadly mistaken if you think I’m waiting for it to happen, I’m preparing myself and the various methods of writing that either will be written or lived to self correction. What can possibly be more valuable than all the information in the world in the information age?

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