By accepting and allowing it, fuck whether I understand it, I’m the one that’s responsible. Today I attempted to mentally understand the obvious around me that I am seeing my interest reflected by people. Not meeting the person, in short seeing all I want from people. When I’m individually deluded, what matters is my understanding of my delusion, wise people saying what is true basically is useless. I’m not already living that wisdom, so it’s forgotten easily.
Damaged characters create a damaged world through wisdom and experience. This definition of experience originated from the personality’s self interest. That was what made him break through to success: everyone knows what is best for all but there are invisible mental obstacles so we don’t apply what is best for all, give as you would like to receive.
In a way, psychology convinced itself it knows something about how people work. In good intentions of helping people, the opposite is done where threats to the ideology of psychology and money above all, are exterminated ruthlessly professing love. When the professionals emotionally rely on a heroic story of being a light shining in a world of darkness, any stench of evidence pointing to their active role in debilitating the people they want to save is rejected with anger. Fear in other words. Making up for the destruction that capitalism sears into the world is problematic if money in its current character is allowed to brutally control supportive services and goods/drugs. There’s so many dysfunctions in every industry because people have to profit to survive. When I die, all those industries and their “service to humanity”/submission to be controlled don’t matter. Life is the capital.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to come to terms with me actually changing will disturb the people around me.
I forgive myself that I Have not accepted and allowed myself to face how people will boycott me, isolate me for actually changing because I am less easily manipulated as a result of my change.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to accept how truth brutally judges illusion, so when I am “closer to” stopping my personal illusion the minds of the illusion mark me as a threat, so do everything in their power to attack my character.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny my own understanding of the world’s feedback; that when society tells me I am an abomination to be avoided at all cost, I am angry at that society in a way because my dignity as a human of the same life source is retracted, inducing me to lose confidence in the actions I’m living.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I’m more abnormal in a bad way if the world rejects me and I feel nothing about being infinitely rejected every time I walk out of my home.