Day 171: Intelligence, Not Something That Can Be Hoarded

I commit myself to when/as I see myself not having this ‘intelligence’ that I refer to in my Mind as a product I can apparently hoard and accumulate, to stop and breathe. I realise that I am not dealing with intelligence in reality because if I look just beneath my thought about intelligence to what I am as my starting point for the thought, I am actually abusing the word intelligence as a way I accept and allow myself to participate in fear of death/fear of having no money.

In this, I realise that I have participated in fear of death because I needed an excuse to justify how I am being unfairly treated and create a foe in my Mind to motivate myself to do more to win, and justify violence to be/become competitive in the omnipresent competition I imagine the world to be, but I haven’t even answered the question, “Who am I within/as intelligence”, I automatically created an excuse in my Mind to go fight and believed this was the only way to survive. I commit myself to realise that in a world that requires an entire group to function in any way whatsoever, I must develop intelligence in a way that support the group, and the process must not involve undermining the group. I commit myself to stop being violent because I am existing within a group.

I commit myself to when/as I see myself thinking about intelligence, about how other people see me in terms of intelligence, to stop and breathe. I realise that my actual intelligence is not defined by what others say about my intelligence, because doing what needs to be done is my self responsibility: my ability to do various tasks depends always on who I am, am I learning from my own mistakes, moving out of emotions/feelings to be here with the task at hand, am I paying attention every moment or am I procrastinating. I commit myself to accept that doing what is required to do the task expected from me effectively only means that I am doing the task effectively.